Redefine the Baseline
The Power of Thoughts…
I was thinking today about just how powerful our words and thoughts really are…especially the way we define things, label things, and tell ourselves stories about what’s happening around us.
Language is kind of wild when you think about it. It helps us communicate with others, sure, but it also shapes how we relate to ourselves and the world. The way we describe something, what we call it, how we frame it…creates the meaning we attach to it. And most of the time, this whole system runs in the background without us even noticing.
Our minds are constantly labeling things: good, bad, annoying, beautiful, dangerous, safe, you name it. And usually, those labels come with strong opinions and emotions attached. If you’ve ever paid attention to your thoughts, you’ll notice how black-and-white they can be. The moment something happens, we’re already judging it: “I like this.” “I hate this.” “That person is annoying.” “This is amazing.” It’s automatic.
These snap judgments aren’t random. They’re shaped by a lifetime of experiences; what we learned growing up, what we’ve seen, what we’ve been through, what society says is “normal.” But when we don’t bring awareness to them, they can start to run the show, shaping how we feel and react without us realizing it.
Let me give you an example.
Traffic…
It’s such a simple thing, but always a great teacher.
Let’s say I’m having a great day…maybe I’m feeling relaxed, listening to music, coffee in hand. Then BAM. I hit bumper-to-bumper traffic. Just like that, my mood tanks. I start thinking things like:
“Ugh, this is the worst.”
“Why are people driving so slow?”
“This is ruining my day.”
Can you relate?
The truth is, the traffic itself isn’t the problem. It’s the story my mind starts telling about it. The judgments, the labels, the frustration. That’s what spikes my anxiety or anger. And the frustrating part? I don’t actually have control over the traffic. Sure, I can take a different route, but I can’t avoid every delay or setback in life. No one can.
And when our minds get into the habit of reacting this way (rigidly, automatically) it becomes easier and easier to get stuck in the same emotional loops: frustration, stress, resentment, defeat. Eventually, those become our “default” states, without us even noticing.
So, why does this matter?
Because if we slow down and look closely, we’ll see just how much our thoughts shape our mood and experience. And when we believe those thoughts without questioning them, we suffer unnecessarily.
What if we didn’t rush to judge every situation? What if we let it just be? No label, no story. Or better yet, what if we chose to reframe the situation in a way that made us feel more grounded, more open, more okay?
That’s where this practice comes in, something I call “Redefine the Baseline.”
It’s a simple, four-step tool rooted in mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and and follows the 4 C’s: Check in, get Curious, Challenge and Construct. It’s all about helping you create more space between what happens and how you react.
Redefine the Baseline
With this tool, we will learn to draw awareness to our automatic thoughts, take a moment to reflect on how they are impacting us, challenge the thoughts and redefine the current circumstance in a way that allows for more mental and emotional flexibility, thus improving our mood and emotional reaction.
The first step is to identify the trigger (Check-In) How do I know that a trigger occurred? I may start to feel anxious, or angry. My heart may start to beat faster, or I may start to ruminate or feel aggressive. More than likely the trigger will be a felt sense in your body: heart rate, flush face, tight throat or feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Once you identify the trigger, bring awareness to your thoughts (get Curious) and (Challenge) them. Ask yourself some questions that will help you identify the thoughts or labels you have attached to the situation. What about this situation is impacting me? What have I decided is true about this situation? What have I decided is true about me as a result of this situation? In what ways am I taking this personally? Are these thoughts and labels truly accurate or am I exaggerating or making assumptions? Who would I be or how would I feel if i didnt label this situation or person in this way? Is this subjective experience or objective truth?
Now it’s time to build a new way of seeing the situation (Construct)—one that creates a little more peace, space, or softness. This doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It just means choosing a thought or perspective that supports your well-being instead of draining it.
Let’s go back to the traffic example:
Trigger: I’m stuck in traffic and I feel myself getting impatient.
Curious: What am I thinking?
“Traffic sucks.”
“This is ruining my day.”
“People don’t know how to drive.”
Challenge:
How are these thoughts making me feel? Bad, irritated, trapped
Are these thoughts making traffic move faster? No
Do I have control over traffic? No
What am I believing to be true because of these thoughts? That these drivers are personally trying to upset me. This feels personal
Is that true? No
Who would I be or how would I feel if I didnt label this situation or person in this way? I would be at peace
Construct:
What could I use this time for that would be more productive or beneficial? Maybe I could listen to a meditation or audiobook (So in this case I am constructing the narrative away from irritation to seeing it as an opportunity to engage in mindfulness practice or learning) Maybe I could use this time to call someone I love (an opportunity to connect)
What thoughts, feelings, emotions or experiences am I avoiding with my anger and irritation (maybe traffic makes me feel trapped or powerless?) What would it be like to sit with that or turn towards it instead of avoiding it?
Consider those around me. How are we all connected? How are we all having this shared experience of slowing down? Get curious about the drivers around you. Use this as an opportunity to appreciate the humor of traffic jams, the humor of being human etc
“What if I let this be a moment to practice patience instead of resistance?”
Practice…
There are countless other ways to redefine traffic in a way that softens our resistance to it. This tool doesn’t require perfection. You don’t have to do it every time, or get it “right.” But the more you practice, the more you’ll start to notice how powerful it is to pause and choose a different response.
It might not change traffic…but it can absolutely change you in the traffic.
Additionally, when I begin to practice this skill in this space, I may realize I can use this in other areas of my life too!
Further Exploration…
Journal Prompts:
What situations in your life tend to trigger a quick reaction or a drop in mood? Where are you labeling something or someone in a way that adds more suffering?
How would your life feel different if you started to slow down, get curious, and choose a new baseline?
What are some ways I can begin to see challenges and irritations as invitations to go deeper, as opportunities to turn towards life and not away from it.
What are 3 situations I am currently going through that may benefit from this process?
